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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29926566">I Don't Believe You! You're Not the Truth!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/River9Noble/pseuds/River9Noble'>River9Noble</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BatLantern Week 2021 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, Green Lantern - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BatLantern Week 2k21, Batlantern - Freeform, Bisexual Character, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fem!Hal, Fluffy Ending, Humor, Romance, Smut, Spanking, Stalker, bruhal, light d/s themes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:43:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,130</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29926566</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/River9Noble/pseuds/River9Noble</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce Wayne accidentally got himself an obsessed ex. In a total Brucie move, he decides that parading around a new (fake) girlfriend is the best way to handle the situation. </p><p>Fem!Hal Jordan figures, what the hell. Batman promised to buy her something really nice if she helps him out, and she can have fun embarrassing him. A little too much fun, it turns out... </p><p>(BatLantern Week 2k21 - Day 2 - Fake/Pretend Relationship)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hal Jordan/Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>BatLantern Week 2021 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Batlantern Week, Bisexual Visibility, Focus on Female Characters, Queer Characters Collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Don't Believe You! You're Not the Truth!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>BatLantern Week 2k21 - Day 2 Prompt Fill - <strong>Fake/Pretend Relationship</strong> || Sacrifice</p><p>TW - Stalker. Their mental state is realistically described, but please be advised that Batman's fictional solution is FICTIONAL for entertainment purposes only - real stalkers can be extremely dangerous and easily provoked. See endnotes for more resources.</p><p>TW - light D/s themes, spanking</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I want you to be my fake girlfriend," Batman announces abruptly to Hal, without preamble, as he slides into place next to her at the conference table from out of nowhere, like he always does.</p><p>Hal stares at him.</p><p>"I'll pay you," Bats adds. Hal raises an eyebrow.</p><p>"You just took it from fake girlfriend to fake prostitute," she says.</p><p>"Who's gonna be a fake prostitute?" Barry asks, zipping in and ricocheting into his seat.</p><p>"Definitely not me," Hal says calmly, slurping on some more of her coffee.</p><p>"I'll give you whatever you want," Bats growls. "Within reason," he quickly adds when he sees the mischievous smile light up her face.</p><p>"Heck, I'll do it," the Flash begs.</p><p>"You're married," Batman frowns. "Bad press is what I'm trying to fix, not encourage."</p><p>"Oh, now I need to hear the whole story," Hal says delightedly. "What deep shit is Brucie Wayne in?"</p><p>Almost before the words are out of her mouth, Barry's shoving his phone in her face with a YouTube clip playing.</p><p>"We did not have a <em>relationship</em>!" Brucie was snarling in a restaurant at some overly made-up rich bitch with a blowout for days who was leaning over him, boobs up and ass out. "We had sex in the bathroom! Once!"</p><p>Beside him at the table, Brucie's current date looked like she was regretting every single life decision that had led her to this point.</p><p>"Oh, my," Hal hums under her breath. "What brought that on?"</p><p>Spooky actually looks a little pink-cheeked.</p><p>"I may have misjudged a certain sex partner's potential for post-coital clinginess," he says uncomfortably.</p><p>"And possible mental illness," Barry says quite seriously. "Those are some stalker level thought patterns there, Bats," he says.</p><p>"I know," Bats says, looking miserable. "That's why I need Hal."</p><p>"Yeah, you're gonna have to explain the whole 'needing me' thing more," Hal says, frowning into her coffee.</p><p>Spooky sighs.</p><p>"You can defend yourself if a threat arises," he says. "And if I appear to have a longterm, stable relationship, she's more likely to move on to a new fixation," he says.</p><p>"Or kill us both," Hal points out.</p><p>Batman glares at her.</p><p>"I'm more than capable of defending myself against a potential threat," he says. "Aren't you?"</p><p>"A determined enough assassin with no regard for their own life usually succeeds," Barry says with concern. "She could shoot you unexpectedly when you're not wearing your armor."</p><p>"Yeah, Spooks, I don't know about this," Hal says. She narrows her eyes when Batman quickly flicks his gaze off to the side.</p><p>"What aren't you telling me?" she demands. When he doesn't answer, Hal shrugs and says, "Fine. I'm out."</p><p>"Were you ever in?" Barry squawks, his jaw dropping.</p><p>Spooky turns to look at her, though, appraisingly, before sighing.</p><p>"I may have… hired a certain - professional - to attract Ms. Whittaker's attentions elsewhere once I'm no longer eligible," he says reluctantly.</p><p>"You hired <em>her</em> a hooker?" Hal gapes.</p><p>"You are a strange, strange man, Bats," Barry says.</p><p>"No shit," says Hal, somewhat in awe.</p><p>"Will you do it?" Spooky says in a tone just miserable enough to come across as pleading. "I'll buy you a new motorcycle, a plane, anything you want."</p><p>"I'm gonna be dating Santa Claus, Bar," Hal snorts.</p><p>"More like Daddy Claus," Barry quips.</p><p>Batman groans.</p><hr/><p>But he cannot deny that Hal looks stunning in a way that he never would have thought possible when he picks her up from his Gotham City condo for their first strategically planned date, a charity dinner where one Ms. Maybellanne Whittaker is sure to be in attendance, for the sole reason that Brucie plans to be.</p><p>"Wipe that stupefied look off your face," Hal snaps at him though as he takes in her low-cut, form-fitting long blue gown that reveals shapely boobs and curvy hips that he'd never before particularly noticed on her, due to Hal's proclivity to fashioning a loose flightsuit type Lantern uniform for herself, but look at that, she's even got a calf and thigh to drool over peeking out from the high side slit.</p><p>"I can clean up," Hal gripes as Bruce struggles to pick his jaw up off the floor.</p><p>"Apparently," he says somewhat reverently, getting smacked upside the head with her small handbag for his lack of nonchalance.</p><p>"Let's get this over with," Hal growls, but Bruce stops her before she can close the door.</p><p>"I brought you some jewelry," he says, handing her a black velvet box.</p><p>She looks at it suspiciously, but she lets him come in so she can set her purse down and open it, and then it's her jaw on the floor.</p><p>"Are these real?" she manages to get out after a long silence.</p><p>"Very," Bruce smirks at her, taking the box back and lifting out the truly stunning black diamond necklace that he unclasps. "Turn around," he says, and she's dazed enough that she does without arguing about it, and it's oddly intimate fastening the necklace around her neck, in a strange way that makes Bruce a little hot under the collar.</p><p>Not that Hal's outfit is helping him much, in that regard.</p><p>"Earrings?" he offers her, picking the jewelry box back up. Hal pulls off her simple (and fake) silver dangle and picks up one of the black teardrop pendants.</p><p>"What?" Bruce asks her when she's unusually quiet on the way down the elevator to his car.</p><p>"What," Hal scoffs. "Said the billionaire to the peasant."</p><p>"I like peasants," Bruce smiles, and that makes it better, because she's laughing and smacking him again with her purse, and the tension in the air dissipates.</p><hr/><p>"Hal," one of their stuck-up tablemates says as if it tastes bad when Bruce introduces her at dinner. "What is that short for, dear? Halle?" the older woman asks patronizingly.</p><p>"Halloween," Hal says solemnly.</p><p>"I beg your pardon?" Mrs. Templeton gapes.</p><p>"Hal is short for Halloween," Hal smiles back at her. "It was my mother's favorite holiday," she says primly.</p><p>And fuck if she doesn't look so downright naughty under that smile that Bruce finds himself clenching his jaw extra hard so that he doesn't smile at her.</p><p>"Goodness gracious," Mrs. Templeton is murmuring to herself.</p><p>"What's your middle name, then, Trick-or-Treat?" one of the younger assholes calls out in what is definitely not a good-natured way.</p><p>"No, it's Jack O'Lantern," Hal says peacefully and Bruce loses it, choking so hard on his wine that he almost starts wheezing.</p><p>"Brucie!" Hal says in concern, thumping his back really damn hard. "Did it go down the wrong way, sweetie? You've got to be more careful, boo," she chirps, rubbing soothing circles on his back once he's got his breath somewhat back.</p><p>"So your full name is Halloween Jack O'Lantern Jones," one of the blonde girls says slowly, making deliberate eye contact with a few other ladies at the table in a definite Regina George kind of way.</p><p>"Doesn't it have a lovely <em>ring</em> to it?" Hal says brightly, popping an olive in her mouth while sliding her eyes sideways at Bruce, but he refuses to fall for it this time, and two can play at that game, anyway.</p><p>"I think it's absolutely beautiful," Brucie fawns, leaning in to peck a kiss on Hal's lips.</p><p>"Aw, thank you, Brucie," Halsey Martina Jordan coos back at him, audaciously nuzzling noses after the kiss that Bruce had deliberately and respectfully kept brief and closed-mouth, despite his intention to provoke her.</p><hr/><p>They're only on the salad course when Maybellanne makes her move.</p><p>"Brucie, sweetheart, <em>there</em> you are!" she says as if she's his date and had temporarily lost track of him.</p><p>Spooky's shoulders tense when Maybellanne slips her arms down them and over his chest from behind, but she's just barely managed to plant a very lipsticked kiss on his cheek, when Hal lifts herself up and plops down sideways in Bruce's lap, sliding her arms in-between the stalker's and snapping them sharply off of Bruce before promptly wrapping her own arms tight around Bruce's neck and giving him a full-on, Hal Jordan A-Game Kiss, deep and wet and raunchy and long and she's leaning into it and - wow, good, this was the plan, uh, right, so, Spooky's kissing her back, and damn, he's a good kisser too, which kind of figures given his reputation, but you never know with good-looking guys, way too often they try to skate by on their looks, Hal muses to herself as their tongues stroke back and forth and Maybellanne sputters and exclaims and begins to shriek behind them.</p><p>Hal doesn't really notice at what point the shrieking stops, because Spooky's kissing her like he's hungry for her, and it feels like he's messing up her hair, not that Hal cares, and oh, his cock is hard against her thigh now, that's nice - wait - is that nice? It's nice? Fuck, maybe it is nice.</p><p>Whatever. Hal keeps kissing him.</p><p>By the time she tunes in to the throat clearing next to them, it's ahem'ing in a way that sounds really fucking pissed.</p><p>Spooky lifts his mouth off of hers to snap, "What?<em>" </em>and oh, damn, that … that was the Bat. That was definitely not Brucie.</p><p>"She's gone, Brucie," one of the rich white dudes is saying, looking as pissed as he'd sounded. "And your date's sitting on the tablecloth and pulled all our drinks over. The waiters need to change it."</p><p>Oh. Hm. She'd done that? Go Hal. She turns and scans the circle of seriously annoyed, entitled faces and does a happy dance inside.</p><p>"Oh, dear," Brucie is chuckling in an empty air-headed way, the Bat tucked safely back inside layers of vapid. Very interesting that he'd slipped out at all, Hal thinks. Bats never slips up.</p><p>Except … when he's kissing her? Hm.</p><p>Hm-hm. Double hm.</p><p>"You'd better stand up, honey," Bruce is saying, still chuckling with amusement like an overgrown toddler.</p><p>Hal smiles at him and allows his hands on her hips to help her up, and then he's standing up, too, sliding his hands around her waist from behind.</p><p>"We should go get some air while the waiters clean this up," Brucie says like it's the greatest, most original idea ever.</p><p>"Yes, get some <em>air</em>, Brucie," the blonde bitch says with just the right ratio of laughter to snark to sound like maybe she's being friendly when she's definitely, totally not.</p><p>"Oh, that's totally code for having sex in the bathroom," Hal laughs in her face. "Right, baby?" she smirks up at Bruce, twisting her head back to look up at him. Can't shame the shameless, after all.</p><p>"Right you are, pumpkin," Brucie says, kissing Hal's neck. "We'll be back," he beams at his not-friends, who just stare at his tasteless new low.</p><hr/><p>They do find a single person restroom, because they'd said they were going to, after all; keeping up appearances is part of the scam, and Spooky's just locked the door and Hal is surveying her mess of hair in the mirror when she's slammed up against the wall and his tongue is back in her mouth.</p><p>"Fuck," she manages to gasp out when his still hard - scratch that, even harder - cock starts grinding against her, too.</p><p>"Is that a fuck, yes?" Spooky growls in her ear. "Or a fuck, stop?"</p><p>"Fuck, <em>yes</em>," Hal says, and he grins sharp and feral before he starts kissing her again.</p><p>Hal's hand on the back of his head tugs him even closer into their kiss, and, huh, maybe this is even more fun than poking Spooky with a stick all the time to see him grump out, Hal thinks, because by the time he's pulling her away from the wall to carefully work her zipper down, she's more than a little wet, and she has no complaints when he gets her thong off only to kneel down and slide her dress up her hips and work her legs over his shoulders so he can stand up and slide her up the wall to eat her pussy out.</p><p>Ok, that's <em>hot</em>, Hal thinks incoherently as she hangs onto his head, plus, Spooky is really, really damn good at it. And she's not nervous about falling, because he's Bats, with muscles for days, and he's got an arm wrapped around each thigh keeping her secure, and fuuuuuuuck, ok, Hal's just gonna focus on his tongue on her clit now, no more time for silly things like thoughts.</p><p>She comes a lot louder than usual. And longer.</p><p>"God, Spooky," she pants, when he finally lets her down so he can put a condom on.</p><p>"Good?" he grins at her.</p><p>"You're the detective, you tell me," Hal says with a lazy smirk, pulling her tangled hair up and twisting it into a knot because her neck's sweaty and her hair's sticking to it, and she doesn't want to be distracted for part two.</p><p>Spooky's smiling back at her all playful, eyes lit up and heated, and it's weird to see him smile so much, but it's kind of nice. Makes him seem like way less of an asshole. Plus, ok, Bruce Wayne is a very beautiful man, and there is no denying it.</p><p>He scoops her up again, by the butt this time, and Hal wraps her legs around his waist and then he's sliding inside of her, and she's groaning a little bit, but not as much as she is a second later when he wastes no time pummeling her pussy.</p><p><em>God</em>, it's good, holy fuck, she would've slept with Spooky ages ago if she'd known he'd be <em>this</em> good, and he really seems to like whatever she's cursing out at him, because she catches a smug, predatory smile from under her half-lidded eyes, and she rakes her fingernails through his scalp just to see what he does - oh, he's slamming his mouth against hers and kissing her again - well - it starts out really hot and domineering, but as Hal hangs onto his neck and kisses him back, Spooky ends up slipping down lower to suck and kiss at her neck, under her jaw, over her pulse, and bite at her shoulder, and Hal tips her head back and lets him.</p><p>He's marking her up. The stalker will see. The press will see. The Justice League will see. Hal doesn't find it in herself to care.</p><p>Especially because there's something oddly possessive about it, the way Spooky's claiming her, and maybe it doesn't mean anything; hell, it probably doesn't, but - it's making Hal's tummy do strange, soft swirly things, and she's going to enjoy the moment no matter what it ends up not meaning later.</p><p>The fingers that she runs through Spooky's hair are softer, now, and when his eyes come back to meet hers, they're a little softer, too, and when he holds eye contact with her while he ramps up his thrusting, there's something so -</p><p>Hal seizes up around his cock and mumbles, "Fuck, Spooky," as she comes on him, closing her eyes to shut out whatever weird intimacy has started brewing, but Spooky leans in and brushes kisses on her ear, whispering how beautiful she is, and fuck if that doesn't make her come harder, and maybe she even ends on a little whimper.</p><p>But then Spooky's giving a few fast and final thrusts and coming with low moans himself, and when he finishes, he presses his sweaty forehead into hers and leaves it there for a long minute. Hal's fingers find themselves gently petting down stray hairs on the back of his head while they both breathe hard, and it feels - Hal feels - <em>seen</em>.</p><p>In a way that she hasn't since Carol.</p><p>Which doesn't take rocket science to figure out, because Hal's only dated people since Carol who don't know her that well. Even whatever League or Corps members she's hooked up with, they haven't been true friends.</p><p>Not that she would've called Spooky a friend. Frenemy, maybe, at best - but does anyone really know you better than an enemy, Hal considers? Sinestro comes into her heart with a pang. He wasn't always an enemy, though, was he? He was her friend - her best friend -</p><p>"Hal? You ok?"</p><p>She blinks her eyes open to look into Spooky's concerned ones.</p><p>"Yeah," she says, clearing her throat. "Yeah, that was good," she says. "Real good."</p><p>Bats is giving her a look now, as he pulls out and sets her down.</p><p>"Really, Spooky," she says as he ties off the condom and tosses it in the toilet, still looking at her scrutinizingly. "Not about you."</p><p>"If you say so," he says, doing up his pants.</p><p>And Hal doesn't need to tell him anything, she doesn't owe him - she's doing <em>him</em> the favor, for fuck's sake, but as she turns around so he can zip her dress back up, she says to the wall, "I haven't had sex with anyone who knows me really well since Carol. That's all."</p><p>"That's all?" Bats hums, and damn him and his perception.</p><p>"Ok, fine," Hal huffs. "And then it occurred to me that enemies can know us better than friends - meaning you, obviously -" she says with a smirk, "but then I thought of Sinestro," she finishes more quietly.</p><p>"Oh," Spooky says gently, and Hal bites her lip at the understanding in his voice. "You two weren't lovers, though?" he asks her curiously and Hal shakes her head.</p><p>"I think that makes it worse," she says hoarsely.</p><p>She's surprised when Spooky's arms wrap tight around her waist again from behind, but it's kind of nice to lean back against him and let him hold her a little bit while she closes her eyes for a minute.</p><hr/><p>They make it through the rest of dinner with saucy looks for the rest of their table, and flirty glances back and forth with each other, and Hal preening her neck towards the light at opportune moments to show off her bite marks, and the good Ms. Whittaker had apparently been removed by security, as well as charged with disorderly conduct, so all in all, the rest of the night is fairly quiet.</p><p>Spooky walks her back up to the penthouse afterwards instead of just dropping her off.</p><p>"You going out on patrol?" Hal asks him and he nods.</p><p>"You need a hand?" she says, and he gives her a tiny smile before saying, "I wouldn't mind the company, but you need sleep more than I need company."</p><p>"I need what now?" Hal says, raising her eyebrows. "Did the most sleep deprived member of the League just try to boss my sleep habits?"</p><p>"Takes one to know one," Spooky grins. "Who's always being pulled in three different directions?" he says, reaching a hand out to twist a strand of her hair. "Coming in late to every meeting with the biggest cup of coffee she can find?"</p><p>"Uh huh," Hal says, rolling her eyes at him. "I only show up late to piss you off. And to work that white-girl-shows-up-late-with-Starbucks aesthetic."</p><p>"That's not why," Spooky says softly, "and you don't drink Starbucks," he says which, no, she doesn't - but he's kissing her again, gentle and sweet this time, and yeah, Hal's stomach is definitely doing the whole butterfly thing. What the fuck.</p><p>"Do you want to come back to the Manor with me, though?" he asks her when he pulls back. "You could sleep over there. If you wanted."</p><p>And maybe - maybe the butterflies are moving up to Hal's chest.</p><p>"Sure," she says, clearing her throat. "I'll get changed."</p><p>He helps her pack her essentials up and then they're back in his fancy-ass car, driving out of the city proper and into rich people land, and finally they're driving through the massive security gates of THE Wayne Manor, which is shadowy and massive and totally fits Spooky's aesthetic, especially in the dark, and Bruce takes her hand when he leads her through the fancy corridors and artsy decor and up the giant staircase that's more for display than use.</p><p>He pauses at a door with a light on and knocks. A little mini-Bruce opens it a second later and glares suspiciously at Hal.</p><p>"This is my youngest son, Damian," he introduces her. "This is Hal Jordan, Damian."</p><p>"I am well aware who the Green Lantern is, Father," the pipsqueak glowers. Damn. He has the Batglare down and everything.</p><p>"Hal's going to sleep over tonight," Bats says. "Please don't try to kill her. Or steal her ring."</p><p>"<em>What</em> now…?" Hal starts to say in alarm, but the tiny kid is huffing and puffing and finally heaves out his begrudging assent.</p><p>"Go get ready for patrol," Bats tells him. "I'll be right down."</p><p>"Very well," the little kid says, and he tries to shut the door in their faces, but Hal sticks her hand through it right up to his nose, propping the door open with a foot to prevent becoming an amputee.</p><p>"Lovely to meet you, Damian," she says drily. The kid glares at her some more until Hal feels rather than sees Spooky's menacing look back, prompting the brat to abruptly wring her hand and snarl out, "<em>Lantern</em>," in the same sneer that his father is so fond of using.</p><p>As soon as Hal's foot is gone, the door slams shut.</p><p>"Charming child," Hal says, while Spooky sighs and mumbles an apology as he resumes leading her to his bedroom.</p><p>"He was raised by assassins?" Bats offers up tiredly.</p><p>"I don't know, Spooky," Hal says, tapping her chin. "He seems to take so much after his father," she says, batting her eyelashes at him.</p><p>Spooky growls and grabs her waist.</p><p>"If I didn't have to patrol," he says in her ear, "you'd be in big trouble for that … <em>Lantern</em>." He nips at her earlobe before Hal smirks at him.</p><p>"I like trouble. I live for trouble," she says.</p><p>"And I live to make troublemakers pay," Spooky growls back in an even sexier voice as he pulls her into his bedroom and shuts the door.</p><p>"Yeah, have fun doing that <em>out on patrol</em>," Hal says cheekily, looping her arms around his neck and giving him a flirtatious kiss. "I'll be right here sleeping," she smirks, sashaying away towards his bed.</p><p>She gives a quiet yelp when Spooky cracks her ass hard, but she's laughing, too, and even he's doing his not-actually-a-smile Batsmile.</p><p>"I'll see you when I get back," he says. "Try to stay out of trouble until then."</p><p>"Make endless amounts of trouble and wrack up a truly impressive punishment. Gotcha," Hal says, climbing into his bed and under the covers.</p><p>"Baby, if you like punishments, you're dating the right man," Spooky says in a husky voice, leaning over her and - fuck, actually tucking her in.</p><p>"Fake dating, wasn't it?" Hal murmurs up at him.</p><p>"Was it?" Spooky murmurs back. "Seems inaccurate, somehow," he says, stroking a hand through her hair before kissing her.</p><p>"Wildly inaccurate, yes," Hal breathes out when he lets her go.</p><p>"Mm," Spooky says, looking smug. "Get some sleep," he says, turning away. "You're going to need it," he adds over his shoulder as he turns the lights out. Hal's low, throaty laugh follows him out of the room.</p><p>But it's spooning, not a spanking, that Hal gets when Spooky comes back from patrol, crawling into his bed behind her and wrapping her up tight before pressing a tender kiss to her neck, and it's been years since Hal's heard that contented, sleepy sigh spinning out of her chest in the middle of the night.</p><hr/><p>All of the original bitemarks on her neck have faded before their next Justice League meeting, thanks in large part to her ring's healing powers, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't stumble into the meeting (late) with a slew of new ones.</p><p>Barry's eyes pop out at her.</p><p>"Nice hickies," Ollie comments loudly. Clark's smiling and J'onn looks curiously interested, but Diana's biting her lip in a funny way.</p><p>"I thought you two were fake dating," Barry says, looking from the already seated Bats to Hal, who's plopping herself down in the empty chair next to him and grinning when he pushes a giant tumbler of coffee her way.</p><p>"I'm a method actor," Hal says nonchalantly as she pushes back the lip of the travel mug. Beside her, Spooky snorts. Dinah leans across the table and bumps her fist.</p><p>"I support your dedication to your craft," she says.</p><p>"Haven't seen <em>you</em> with any hickies recently, Dine," Hal points out. "You losing your mojo in your old age, Ollie?"</p><p>The Green Arrow's jaw drops in massive offense as his wife turns to look at him.</p><p>"I wonder," Black Canary says thoughtfully.</p><p>The meeting's barely over before Ollie's dragging Dinah off into a closet.</p><hr/><p>Hal's at work at Ferris Airlines when she gets her next Lantern Corps call to report to Oa for a mission. As soon as she's finished her test flight, she flies up to the Watchtower and then takes the zeta tube down to the BatCave, since Spooky has a thing about the Green Lantern being too visible to be allowed to use the Cave's main entrance, blah blah blah. (He's right, but Hal still gives him shit about it).</p><p>He's sitting at the BatComputer like she figured he would be, but he stands up to greet her when she materializes.</p><p>"Hal. Is everything all right?" he says with some concern. "You were at work."</p><p>"Yeah, I got called back to Oa," Hal says. "Two, maybe three weeks."</p><p>"Ok," Bats says easily, bending down to give her a kiss, and yeah, Hal loves being a Lantern. She truly does.</p><p>Being part of the Corps fills the bombed-out hole in her soul that being dishonorably discharged from the Air Force left. She loves being part of a team, being out in space, the satisfaction her work gives her even when it sucks, but - Spooky could've sounded at least a little down about her leaving, couldn't he?</p><p>Because it's not like she doesn't want to go - she does, she already feels her adrenaline surging - but - well - their not-fake dating thing has been really nice since it started a few weeks ago, and she's been sleeping over at the Manor every night, and dammit, she's going to miss him and to realize he's not -</p><p>"Bring me back a Corps communicator," Spooky says, sliding his hands over her hips, "so we can stay in touch the next time you're gone."</p><p>Hal's fears fly out in a whoosh - wait - <em>fears</em> - she's always been the fearless one, in battles at least - dammit, Spooky! - but fuck, it feels good to lean into another kiss and hold onto him for a long minute before she calls the Watchtower to beam her back up. And Spooky's even smiling at her properly when she dissolves.</p><hr/><p>"What's the count?" Spooky growls out at her, and Hal has to think hard, her brain's so fuzzy and her butt hurts and she doesn't want to see the faces of the people she couldn't save anymore, their screams and souls silenced in an instant as Hal saved different people, instead, the ones she could, the ones who were closer, the ones who would've died if she'd left them to go save the others, and she hates being the one to pick who lives and who dies, when no one should die - but they do, they do, some days more than others, and -</p><p>"The count, Hal," Spooky says more firmly, tugging on her long hair.</p><p>"Twenty-fou- uh, five. Twenty-five," she manages to get out.</p><p>"Good girl," Spooky says, massaging a sore butt cheek. "Keep counting," he says, and she does as he keeps spanking her, driving her responsibilities away, her anger, her sorrow, her guilt, until there's nothing left but his blows to her ass and her count and then her tears, finally her tears, when she breaks down sobbing and sobbing across Spooky's lap, and then he's fucking her and she's flying higher and faster and better than she does through outer space, way out into the cosmos, away from everything she's so, so tired of carrying, and it's safe and warm and cozy and Hal can't even remember how she got here, or why, and it's absolutely perfect.</p><p>Coming to in Spooky's arms is also pretty damn perfect.</p><p>"I love you," she mumbles hazily against his chest.</p><p>He's quiet for a minute and she wonders if he's upset. They've been together for six months, now. Surely it's not that unexpected, right? She looks up at him.</p><p>"Spooky?" she says hesitantly.</p><p>"Is that subspace talking?" he finally says quietly.</p><p>"No, you idiot," Hal snorts, and then he's chuckling in relief and it's a nice warm rumble against her cheek.</p><p>"I love you, too, baby," he finally says and then he's kissing her and yeah, it's good, this thing with Spooky. So good that Hal thinks she just might want to keep it.</p><hr/><p>Another six months have gone by before a thought occurs to Hal.</p><p>"Spooky," she says to him, sitting up abruptly in bed.</p><p>"Yes, baby?" he says with a lazy Sunday afternoon smile.</p><p>"You told me you'd buy me whatever I wanted for being your fake girlfriend," she says. He raises an eyebrow at her.</p><p>"I did, indeed," he says. "What's my good girl want?"</p><p>Hal looks at him and reaches over to lay her left hand warm on his chest, over his heart.</p><p>"An engagement ring," she says, leaning down to kiss him.</p><p>Spooky's hand tangles in her hair and he kisses her so passionately that it takes her breath away, and Hal's ready for more when he suddenly breaks away and turns to open the drawer of his bedside table.</p><p>"I was going to wait for your birthday, but what my girl wants, my girl gets," he says, taking out a small jewelry box and opening the lid.</p><p>Hal's breath catches in her throat at the black diamond and emerald ring.</p><p>"Spooky," she whispers, looking from the ring to his warm blue eyes.</p><p>"Halloween Jack O'Lantern Jones," Spooky says. "You're the best fake girlfriend I ever had," he smiles at her. "Want to try being my fake wife?"</p><p>"I really wish we could put that name on the marriage certificate," Hal says wistfully.</p><p>"You could legally change your name," Bats points out with a grin.</p><p>"Or," Hal says as he slides the ring onto her finger and kisses it in place, "we could frame a fake marriage certificate."</p><p>"There you go," Spooky murmurs into their not-at-all fake kiss.</p><p>Three months later, their very real marriage certificate is in a safe in the BatCave, but the one over their bed reads Halloween Jack O'Lantern Jones &amp; Spooky Justice Night.</p><p>
  <em>The End</em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Comments are much appreciated! </p><p>I'll be posting a new fic every day this week for BatLantern Week, so keep an eye out! You can check out the other event fics on the AO3 collection Batlanternweek2k21 and on Tumblr on Batlanternweek2k21</p><p><strong>I highly recommend that everyone read the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker.</strong> Any public library should have a copy (pretty much all libraries offer online e-books these days, too. Get a library card, kids.) The book is so excellent at teaching you what REAL danger signs look like, so that you're not paranoid about everyone, but can recognize true threats. Also has REAL advice about staying safe from stalkers, because you SHOULD NOT handle them like Bruce did. You could get killed. Read the book! I had a real life situation with someone at a gas station where the book's advice definitely helped keep me safe. </p><p>Yoo can follow me on Tumblr as @River9Noble. Come say hi!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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